FDA ADVISORY PANEL RECOMMENDS KEEPING SHOCK MACHINES IN CLASS 3

More info coming, this is fantastic news everyone!!! Thank you to the good people here who worked on this, wrote letters to the FDA, testified, etc. There’s still more to go, the final FDA vote, but this is fantastic!

You all ROCK THE WORLD.

Comments (28)

CherylJanuary 29th, 2011 at 3:48 pm

Yea!
This is my comment to the FDA though it did not get onto the website. I heard they had 1,500 comments but only 269 were on the website lasst time I looked.

‘A quote from the FDA website:

‘What does the FDA do:
‘FDA is responsible for protecting the public health by assuring the safety of human and veterinary drugs……..medical devices……and products that give off radiation.’

In this debate we have on the one hand the psychiatrists and ECT machine manufacturers who earn their living from ECT. We should also include a few patients who are given a voice by the above and earn their living via books and lectures.

On the other hand we have the patients who have had their brains damaged permanently, many of whom can no longer earn a living. Mostly their cries are not heard or if they are heard, are not listened to. However they are what we know in the UK as ‘expert patients’. ‘Expert patients’ understand their condition more than the ‘professional experts.’

The FDA’s first priority should be to protect patient’s health and not to protect the wallets of psychiatrists and ECT machine manufacturers.

The FDA has a responsibility, not just to patients in the USA, but to all over the world where their ECT machines are exported. Does the USA want to export misery to the world? Lobotomy was wrong and so is ECT – electrical lobotomy.

To the psychiatrists I say, ‘First, do no harm.’

Our brains work in millivolts. ECT machines work in hundreds of volts.
You wouldn’t run an electric current across your computer hard drive in the hope of getting rid of a virus would you?

If the psychiatrists and ECT machine manufacturers truly believe that ECT machines do not harm the patient then they should be willing to have their machines tested to prove beyond doubt who is right.

Let’s put this to bed once and for all.

Keep ECT machines in class III and have them tested now.

Mrs Cheryl Prax
19 Jan 2011′

CherylJanuary 29th, 2011 at 3:52 pm

NB In the UK we have the MHRA but they say it is not their business to test the machines as it is a ‘treatment’. They say it is up to the psychiatrists. They say that the machines are CE marked and that is good enough! I said this only protects the person pushing the button not the person who has a few hundred volts going through their brain.

ECTSurvivorMay 21st, 2011 at 9:14 am

First of all i am happy your site is back to normal. Was awfull to see cialis and viagra links on this site.By myself. I got 160 ECT between 1996-2004 .I can say ,there is not a bigger pain then this Nazi ECT therapy. I lost half of my memory capacity ,but i can not forget the first time when i was called to get ECT. Just after i get this treatment i was horrified scared ,and be cause of this i run in pijamas from hospital. Of course they got me and be cause of this they give me more and more ECT. For readers just to imagine how do you feel in the moment when ECT hits your brain.You feel as you explode and u get back to normal, .Please if you need support post a donate button on your site .Iwill be happy to support your fight against this criminal procedure called ECT.

johnJuly 12th, 2011 at 10:29 pm

They force drugs down your throat that make you insane and alienated sad and tired,whether you want them or not, why? because they imagine you as being mentally ill and not emotionally or psychologically concerned, which is 90% + or most of what ails the majority of troubled minds and the emotionally challenged, one needs counseling and the other apparently needs poisoning or electrocuting,when youve built a tolerance to all the combinations of poisons that oppress depress and tire you and keep you in despair and of course eventually stop working, as they do, you will get a new combination of poisons to build a tolerance to,and when you build a tolerance to the new forced combination of poisons, they will give you another combination, which you will build a tolerance to, eventually when all the combinations dont work anymore you will be electrocuted, this electrocution is to shut you down, because by this stage after a number of poison combinations that have all destroyed your life and your mind you will have been trying to make them stop for years, your fight to stop them poisoning you, the harsh words you have spoken to them in despair for the forced poisons and the life they have stolen and destroyed with their forced poisons ,” Yours” Will anger them, because you make them feel bad about them and their care, they dont like that sort of talk What is comes down ti is that they have failed, and thats what its always going to come down to when you oppress poison and dominate with poisons and incarceration to the non compliant,as you do, thy know electricity will shut you down and vegetate you and steal your mind and your intelligence, it will dumb you down and alienate you more than you could imagine, it will make you ratty, and far more insecure and scared than you have ever known or would have thought possible, but you will be sent back home(all fixed up) after all this abuse to be forced poisoned until the end of your mental health oppressed life, as you always were, and it doesn’t matter who you write to or complain to, the only person who will be able to change this abuse is the abusing doctor,and he or she simply cant or wont rock the psychiatric boat or he or she will be outcast, sidelined as a professional non compliant, no government affiliated department will help you from the prime minister down,They sympathise with your pain and the sadness of it all, but they all send back no answers, but a steer to someone else, who will steer you to someone else, What Mental Health are doing is nothing short of abuse, without a doubt, broken hearts, assaulted bodies and minds crying out, only to be electrocuted.

DanaAugust 3rd, 2011 at 10:03 pm

John: I completely agree with everything you have stated. I am an ECT survivor…an angry one… You describe the ECT experience to a T. I am relieved to know I am not the only person who thinks the way you do. I am curious to know some more of your story/thoughts.

johnAugust 4th, 2011 at 3:56 am

Thanks Dana, I am relieved other people like yourself are talking about the truth, their truth, of electrocution, we just need to come together somehow, to voice our anger, and our despair, collectively, its always the voice of the majority of the people that changes law, when governments are embarrassed into change, pretty much, and Its so obvious and wrong that the poisons these people force down your throat, mirror exactly, in side effects, any mental illness out there,( look it up) but to prove that these poisons are doing that to you, in spite of it being written on the packet,and being all over the internet, you need another psychiatrist to go against his or her colleague, whose, tagged you, and poisoned you, tears and despair, just don’t work, when the psychiatrists have got blinkers on, and are sadly acting oblivious to tears pain or despair, you would also need to be off these poisons to prove that also, because they make you sad and mad and alienate you in a fog, to some of comfort others of terror, so you have to turn up sane to prove your sane, and they’ve got you, insane, on a bag of poisons, and, where psychiatry sits in judgement,and that’s a fair trial, can you imagine if it was easy to get another psyche to go against his or her mate, and the insecurity, both in the community, and in the psychiatric profession if they were to go about, disagreeing with their mates, better to keep the blinkers on unfortunately, I write and research every day Dana, Ive got heaps of stuff Ive written, but am yet to express it all, although, i post a lot, nearly every day, Ive got a website, that im really keen on, getting going, but need my web guy to help me sort it properly, and find some time, I know that finding sick, and poisoning it, and building on it, isn’t the way to go, finding the good is the way to go, and building on that, in fact not trying to see sick, sick should be downplayed and not built up, but down, Nor recognized as THE player, you know! what you see is what you get, sadly it might not be what you see, or want anyone else to imagine or see either, but if they do, your going to be sick, and, its what your going to get, whether you, or your loved ones want you to have it or not, regardless of what anyone reckons, that is abuse in any normal caring thinking brain, outside of the psychiatry of psychiatry it is, in the normal undrugged reality of a caring noninvasive open mind it is, if its not, then God help us, because no one in the government system is, and for the victims who feel abused psychiatry isn’t either, great if your OK with it all, and you feel like its helping you, we’ve got no problems with that, have we, but if your not OK with it, tell psychiatry, the offender.
That’s exactly, why we have to get together in numbers, not to undermine those who are OK with it, we love them, but to stop Psychiatrists doing it to others who aren’t OK with it, and especially the little kids they’re poisoning and unbelievably electrocuting, they shouldn’t even be allowed to talk after that, or be allowed to be seen with credibility, let alone continue to act like a doctor, hitting little kids on the head with a hammer doesn’t help, anyone intrinsically knows that, more so, those that believe that that’s what it is, especially the victims, Hope I haven’t knocked anyone’s senses or thoughts or feelings about, if I have I’m sorry to you, I hope you accept my apology, I don’t mean to harm anyone, its just that anger has taken over my psyche e, too many wars, this one being the war to end all wars, i cant see another force in the world, outside of war mongering, that could cause the harm, that someone could, messing with your mind, and your feelings and thoughts , could you? i mean, even in war, your dead, its over, but when someone is making you take poison that is making you sick every day mind body and soul and want to do that for the rest of your life and telling lies about it making you even madder and sadder and more in despair, what are you going to do? Ive realized all these other wars must have been for me to learn something about wars, so that i could, now because i have to, take on a far more evil, and sinister offender,and these people have got more moves than a tin of worms, that’s why im here, trying to chip away at the big brick wall of psychiatry, casting a shadow over the healthy sunny days and ways, that we once all knew, back in the day, remember, something like that, the irony is that its psychiatry that has to help because being on Poison is killing your life and you, going on Poison sends you mad, and coming off Poison sends you mad, and somewhere in that journey of despair, they change that to an injection, and keep you permanently trapped, in a clamp of madness, every two weeks, so there’s no escape, forever and ever. and that’s even harder to come off, because the injection they use to keep you captive gives you tardive diskenesia, the pills wont, so you need their help, very nasty people, Thank you.
I’m zeroing, dark stuff hey, John.

DamonAugust 5th, 2011 at 1:14 am

This is a wonderful site. I am glad someone recommended it on another site I was looking at. I have suffered from the abuse of ECT therapy on me now for six years. I got my last one about 10 months ago. I have not volunteered for any of these treatments. I am told they are to treat my PTSD from being in the middle east. I believe it is to make me forget things that I experienced and to better control me as a soldier. I hate how much of my life I have forgotten or have jumbled in my head because of the shocks I have gotten. My heart and prayers go out to all of you who have had this therapy. It is an inhumane way to treat another living person and much be banned.

nungbergAugust 28th, 2011 at 6:45 pm

, I don’t mean to harm anyone, its just that anger has taken over my psyche e, too many wars, this one being the war to end all wars, i cant see another force in the world, outside of war mongering, that could cause the harm, that someone could, messing with your mind, and your feelings and thoughts Hava Perdesi Fiyatlari
Hava Perdesi
Hava Perdeleri, could you? i mean, even in war, your dead, its over, but when someone is making you take poison that is making you sick every day mind body and soul and want to do that for the rest of your life and telling lies about it making you even madder and sadder and more in despair, what are you going to do? Ive realized all these other wars must have been for me to learn something about wars

exetrerSeptember 3rd, 2011 at 6:20 pm

Will anger them, because you make them feel bad about them and their care, they dont like that sort of talk What is comes down ti is that they have failed, and thats what its always going to come down to when you oppress poison and dominate with poisons and incarceration to the non compliant,as you do, thy know electricity will shut you down and vegetate you and steal your mind and your intelligence, it will dumb you down and alienate you more than you could imagine, it will make you ratty, and far more insecure and scared than you have Hava Perdesi
Hava Perdeleri
Hava Perdesi Fiyatlariever known or would have thought possible, but you will be sent back home(all fixed up) after all this abuse to be forced poisoned until the end of your mental health oppressed life, as you always were, and it doesn’t matter who you write to or complain to, the only person who will be able to change this abuse is the abusing doctor,and he or she simply cant or wont rock the psychiatric boat or he or she will be outcast, sidelined as a professional non compliant, no government affiliated department will help you from the prime minister down

KesaSeptember 15th, 2011 at 12:02 am

How do I find all the topics we were discussing before the hacking? I don’t know how to access anything anymore.

CarrollSeptember 25th, 2011 at 2:09 am

I think my last ECT treatment was in 2008. Still, my memory is basically gone for almost 30 years prior to that except for a few things around a brief period. I am still very angry and struggling. I had 30-36 treatments during a year period. I am not sure. I wish I could remember how I was before that the doctor felt I needed such drastic measures. If I had been able to make decisions rationally, I know I would never have done that. Now, he will not call me and explain what I was like or what required these measures. I just need to know. I have gone through cognitive rehab training and am much better now but still my prior life is gone. This is unfair to my family, my husband has lost his wife and my children have lost their mother. I grieve this loss daily. I also wonder, will I always have to take medicine? Will I ever be able to stop taking antidepressants? I am told because I have “such a history” with I think four or five hospitalizations and several relapses, that it is best I take my medicine long-term. I take wellbutrin, abilify and was on trazodone for sleep. I basically don’t sleep. I wonder if that could still be some effect of the ECT? Also, I am weaning myself off of the abilify just in case that is the culprit. I just want to feel like I have some control over something. I used to be a nurse, a Unit Manager then a Clinical Supervisor until I had a wreck and was injured. That is when the depression became an issue, big time. I just wonder, have others had the same memory loss to this extent from ECT, do you struggle with questions, and do you want to stop your medicines at times like me?

johnSeptember 26th, 2011 at 10:48 pm

Dear Carroll i have been thinking about you and what you have written for a few days now, im not a doctor im just a carer,and i feel for you and what you have had to go through, Ive seen what this electricity does to people, and Ive seen the people that do it, and Ive seen the reasons they reckon they need to do it for as well, and Ive got my own opinion on what i think it does and why they use it, without knowing your history and where and when it all began its hard to say the way forward or away from what might have been necessary at the time and what still might be necessary, the experts are supposed to help you with that, but from what i have read they haven’t, medication is supposed to be a temporary help to slow down your concern so you can access your feelings with the help of an understanding evolved counselor or psychologist in not such a troublesome way, where you are given new ways to cope with and see your concerns in not such a heavy way, so you can change the things you need to change and be aware of what they are and how to change them, either way you would need someone like that to help you get through the withdrawal process, and when you withdraw it sends you mad so you have to go very slowly and carefully, its the same going on it, let alone for a lot of people being on it sends them mad,so really the only way to find out is to give it a go, here is where the trouble lies, one one hand you have mental health who don’t want to say they are ever wrong, or have ever been wrong, and in fact will say to anyone who challenges them that they don’t understand or have no insight, and because of that, wont be prepared to let you get off their poison, that they are saying is keeping you sane, so you will need to be strong enough in yourself to rise above their no hope, no way, keep you drugged approach, most psychologists know the answer isn’t in poison but they don’t have the power to help you realize that in the reality body sense,( they cant stop the poisoner) only in the mind sense or in your heart or thinking, but that is the first step, the belief and the confidence that you can get better without needing or being poisoned, from there it is a long careful and slow process avoiding withdrawal insanity along the way, putting diet , behavior and attitude at the top of the list, to keep on top of, but no one is going to know until it is given a go, that’s the reality and its not what mental health are about, so if you can get them to let you try it, that’s about all you can do until they nod, if they don’t let you which i suspect will be the case, then you are like the rest of the victims out there, up shit creek without a paddle. As far as the hospitalizations go, all of my loved ones hospitalizations were caused by medication withdrawals, basically a young and vulnerable teenager trying to escape the oppression and the forced poison body and mind effect, so either being on it going on it, or coming off it, all send you mad, so its mostly a case of the chicken before the egg argument, and in that sense hospitalizations don’t count, or matter, in reality they were always going to happen, especially when in your heart you know its wrong and you are driven and forced to stop it on your own because the poisoners wont listen, so in that sense and more than likely if you identify, the poisoners have caused all your withdrawals, and with that comes insanity, that’s not necessarily you is it ? also these poisons like all poisons have a shelf life in as far as effect goes and once you build a tolerance they stop working, then they try a new combination until you build tolerance to those, until eventually all the combinations that you build tolerances to don’t work anymore, that’s when you get electrocuted. That’s to shut you and your fight down because it was making them feel bad about their care and them, the poison was never going to work as a permanent thing only as a temporary thing, but because they work on permanent, and selling as much poison as possible, you are going to be a drug cushion or pin cushion for the rest of your life if they have their way, also just remember when they put you on a poison they get a pat on the back for finding another lunatic they can cure, sorry manage an imagined illness with. they admit they don’t cure, they only manage, so even in that there is no hope and their happy with that.
I think you knocked on the wrong door in the first place, and unfortunately the host wont let you go home to where you belong, drug free, clear minded, safe in your sanity, fully there and unaffected by poison in mind and soul with your family and loved ones, free form drug pushers and sick see-errs,. Sleeping is the number one concern for the people with emotional and mental/ or psychological problems, and sleeping is the number one cure for stress or emotional concern or drug induced psychosis which isn’t a real psychosis and is again the number one ailment in the mix of concerns or mind problems with most troubled teenagers or young adults, or partly the cause, psychiatry adds drugs that make you hallucinate to this group when sleep and no drugs is the proper treatment, they increase the drug and psychosis effect with hallucinogens and then they make their diagnosis, so if you can get away from them I think you stand a chance of getting well and sane again, but again you will have to have good people in place to support you in an ongoing sense, you would have to get mental health and the psyche to agree to give it a go, and you would have to be very careful with your behavior, ie; no drugs or alcohol, and the withdrawal process, but if you believe and have the right people around you there is no reason why you cant be and feel ok drug free, nearly all mental health victims want to not be drugged because of the debilitating effect of them, and most people know that mind problems and concerns are temporary and that working through them and finding answers that alleviate the concerns is a fait accompli reality right through our life, especially with our family and friends who care for us and watch out for us and only want the best for us and who believe in us, anyway i wish you luck, you sound like you know what you need to do, well at least need to try and do, you can only hope that one, they will let you try, and two all goes well when you try, I guess you would have to try to find out, just be aware that when you come away from the poison it sends you a bit mad, so getting through that initial process you need people around you who don’t see sick in everyone they look at, and who can rise above that sick seeing doctrine and see the well trying to break free, and can encourage that try and encourage and support you for trying it, Hope your OK with my response and i hope your future holds great things/changes for you and your family. Yours Sincerely John

Cheryl PraxOctober 21st, 2011 at 6:59 am

John. You have said it all. Good on you mate! I went to see a film called ‘Shock Head Soul’ about a man at the end of the 1800′s who went into an asylum for 9 years. He wrote an amazing manuscript about his struggle with madness and appealed to a tribunal to let him out in spite of his madness. It was a bit heavy. At the end there were questions and answers to the director. Someone asked if the man had been admitted to an asylum in the 1950’s and given anti psychotics would he have been able to write such a manuscript. I could not stop myself from shouting out ‘No!’ The director agreed that it would have been difficult but at least he would have been ‘spared’ the pain of his symptoms rather than having to work through them!

CarrollOctober 21st, 2011 at 7:09 am

The ECT machines must remain as the dangerous machines they are!! They alter lives forever in a few seconds, I can only hope there might be an occasional “success”. I wonder, if there are any studies which show whether there is any relationship between ECT and the trouble with retrieval of the correct words in sentences. I have pauses as I attempt to talk, to find the “right word”. It was 2008 since my last ECT treatment. I continue therapy and multiple meds. Also, will the memory loss improve, will the problem with word retrieval improve or worsen and basically, what can I expect? Please, anyone with knowledge, respond..

John413November 14th, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Very nice site!

NHGrandmaJanuary 26th, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I am thankful for have this forum – it helps me feel not so alone. I am an ECT survivor – I live yet my life is not the same. I lost years of memory and continue to have significant ongoing memory issues. I can’t take a job – how can the use of ECT be legal? I just don’t understand.

air capsFebruary 8th, 2012 at 12:52 am

As far as the hospitalizations go, all of my loved ones hospitalizations were caused by medication withdrawals, Hava Perdesibasically a young and vulnerable teenager trying to escape the oppression and the forced poison body and mind effect, so either being on it going on it, or coming off it, all send you mad, so its mostly a case of theHava Perdeleri chicken before the egg argument, and in that sense hospitalizations don’t count, or matter, in reality they were always going to happen, especially when in your heart you know its wrong and you are driven and forced to stop it on your own becauseHava Perdesi Fiyatlari the poisoners wont listen, so in that sense and more than likely if you identify, the poisoners have caused all your withdrawals, and with that comes insanity, that’s not necessarily you is it

Tracy SchreierJuly 17th, 2012 at 5:53 pm

I had a strange phenomenon occur after each series of treatments over a three year period. It was simply that everyone I saw looked familiar to me (not withstanding was people I should have known didn’t). My shock docs had never heard of, or never admitted to, such a thing ever happening to any of their patients. I insisted on having neuropsych testing and though it showed a significant decrease in memory function, (of course), there was no “evidence for an organic cause” of memory loss (of course) or for the familiarity I was experiencing. The neuropsych doc had never heard of such a thing. My psychiatrist said it was a symptom of mania. I am a psych nurse and after the first treatments (when I was still able to work), I had a shock patient who was experiencing the same thing. When I told his doctor about it, he just fluffed it off without any explanation. I am desperate to find out what this is. Through all my research on the Internet, I have not been able to find anything. It seems to be that it should be looked into. Is there something about ECT that opens a portion of the brain to recognize everyone in the universe as your brother, cousin, or second grade teacher? No doctor has ever listened to me long enough for me to explain this fully. It’s so frustrating. Am I the only one in the world this has ever happened to?

Cheryl PraxJuly 18th, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Tracy Schreier
I believe that unilateral ECT on the right side can interfere with face recognition. You seem to be suffering with a form of this. Doctors will often deny this happens even though patients report it. Just don’t have any more. The brain damage gets worse with each ‘treatment’.

CarrollJuly 18th, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Wow, I can’t believe it has now been four years since my last ECT treatment. Just this past weekend my husband and I took a short trip. We have been to the same area many times, yet I could not recall most of it. He would say, “remember when we came here, you loved the….” He rarely does that anymore, but thought since we have been there often, I would remember. It is so frustrating. I forget people, events, when I am to go places, do things, ect. Oh, I could write volumes. Now, my liver enzymes are elevated and must find out if die to cholesterol meds or other meds. This life is so frustrating and just plain sickening. Where is the fun, the joy that we are supposed to be having?

CarrollAugust 14th, 2012 at 7:24 am

I went to a newly released movie this week about a man/woman that have been married for 30+ years. She wanted to revive their marriage. As they relived memories of the marriage, they struggled to rekindle those old “fires”. What should have been a funny comedy to me instead was very depressing. You see, due to ECT, I can’t remember all of our “firsts” that have taken place over our 32 years together. I came home and asked my husband to tell me about our first kiss, first date, well you get the picture. ECT has robbed me of my lifetime and I will never be whoever that young girl was all those years ago nor the wife and mother just five years ago. Please, if you are ever considering ECT, research, research, and then please don’t do it. There are other options.

Cheryl PraxAugust 14th, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Carroll. Stories like yours are so powerful. Thank you for sharing.

sue hansenNovember 26th, 2012 at 6:30 pm

ECT is like any other procedure that requires general anesthesia – and you get it three times a week. That cannot possibly be good for your body. I had unilateral treatments in the early 90′s, but had to go back every month for “maintenance ECT” to keep the depression from coming back. I finally decided the “cure” was worse than the disease. I even joined a religion that doesn’t believe in it to help me fight it in court if I ever have to, as I am still depressed 20 years later. ECT is like cocaine – you have to keep going back for more. While the “fasting acting” treatment, it is also the “shortest acting”. I would rather die from depression than spend my life on an ECT table. I am in remission, and a doctor threatened to take me to court if I did not have the procedure earlier this year. Yep, folks, I changed my religion
There is a new procedure called Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. No anesthesia required.

HedaMay 1st, 2013 at 9:55 am

I was put into a psych ward under false pretenses by police who were told not to file an incident report.
I was the victim of ER negligence..A ER doctor did a spinal tap on me and got me out of the ER as fast as possible..When I was returned to an ER I was denied medical help and my condition immediately labeled a psychiatric problem..This resulting in my family bringing me back to ER’s over 40 times asking why I was not walking, talking or eating.
The hospital would not tell my family what they had done to me medically..The hid all the blood work and claimed nothing came back in any test results but instead were hiding all the flagged test results..A big LIE

I was keep in a psych ward hooked up to the IV antibiotic and a cathather the doctors failed to give me at the time of the spinal tap to treat the bacterial infection..
The door to the psych hospital closed day and night..Nurses bringing in all the food..

When I started to come around I was then threatened by the psychiatrist that he would be doing ECT treatments..I did not sign for these treatments and they were being done without my signed consent..Really done to disable any little bit of memory I had left about what had occurred in the ER..Fake charts written up by psychiatrists to make it look like i was suffering from a mental illness instead of a victim of a hospital cover up..

To stop me from exposing all of this they make sure you cannot get any bodily damage assessed by denying tests..

meloSeptember 3rd, 2013 at 7:04 am

i have gotten ECT effects and I feel my life has been ruined.it seems no therepy foy my symtoms.
I want to login in ZapRap.org but it always shows “Your account is still awaiting admin approval. “I want to communicate with you.

meloSeptember 7th, 2013 at 6:05 am

anybody can help me
why always “Your account is still awaiting admin approval. ” when i am trying to login

Eric BagaiJune 15th, 2014 at 12:09 pm

Another ECT survivor here. At 74 I’m long past my anger and resentment over treatment forced on me at age 14. Memory, reasoning, and affect became normal within a few years, though I did not realize this until much later. How do you evaluate the only tool you have for self-evaluation when you can’t trust its accuracy or objectivity?

Of course it did frighten me out of cross dressing, and the resulting fear kept me from exploring my gender and sexuality well into adulthood, by which time any thoughts of transition were moot. I had been frozen in time, and it wasn’t until quite recently that I was able to accept who and what I was.

Nevertheless, the effects of ect were temporary. My impression was that because of the loss of memory around the period of ect, I would never really know who I was or what I might have become. I was robbed of a sense of self. Now I accept that, with the exception of some childhood trauma, I’m pretty much who I would have become without ect.

I have militarily served my country, achieved honored recognition in graduate school, became a nationally recognized diagnostician, teacher, and school principal. Published twenty-five books serving the needs of teachers of severely handicapped children. Married and fathered a brilliant child, now a successful publisher himself. Introduced thousands to juggling and circus arts and entertained thousands more in theaters and on street corners. Created an extensive and still-used library of early TRS programs. And was a principal organizer of the three largest anti-war marches ever staged in Oregon.

I’m a widower after 40 years of marriage and am now happily married again, living on 15 beautiful acres of Louisiana meadows and forest, and looking forward to writing and traveling, and perhaps new adventures and achievements.

So I can’t say that ect has ruined my life. If anything, it was a significant factor in helping me realize that I could overcome anything, be anything, and be happy regardless of obstacles and failure.

Yet I can well understand those who feel that ect has ruined their lives. The experience ruined mine until I gamed the staff and psychiatrists who ran the locked ward I was in, and determined to master my own fate from that point on. I was extremely lucky to be gifted the talents and perseverance that framed my life, so I can’t fault anyone for feeling hopeless or helpless.

I’ll never know if I could have been a successful and happy woman. My success and happiness as a a man is simply a quirk of fate and temperament for which I am grateful.

Taught thousands

leylaJune 23rd, 2014 at 2:04 pm

I’m reticent…..but had 187 ect’s over 2 years…no memory of my children’s births…nothing…that’s not informed consent. ..ban the machines and damn anyone that claims to be an expert! Bet they didn’t have to go through what I have! No…..they are evil incarnate and are simply guessing at results. …my memory has been destroyed. ..but I still live through pictures. ….they will regret the life they took from me….I’m going to fight back in the press, and then maybe we’ll get some justice. ….join me

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