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You may contact me either by sending an email or by using the contact form below. The email address above is a graphic and not clickable, so you will need to type my email address into your email software.
Please note the spelling - jlaw (JLAW). This stands for Juli Lawrence, and make sure you type the domain correctly. If you’ve been using my old email address of juli at this domain, note that I’m phasing it out due to spam.
It would be helpful if you could give a subject line (either in email or the form below) that suggests what your email is about. Unfortunately, I get a ton of spam, and my spam catcher tends to consider emails with subject lines such as “Hello” (or worse, “No subject”) as spam and send it into the bin. While I do try and go through my spam list, I may miss your email.
If you’ve emailed me about something critical (such as a forced shock) and haven’t heard back from me in a day, email me again. Perhaps the email got caught in the spam trap and was deleted by mistake.
I generally travel with a laptop, but occasionally I do a total vacation with no computer and am unreachable. If you have a true emergency (forced shock), and haven’t heard from me within a day, go to the Mind Freedom site (link in the left menu), find David Oaks’ email address and contact him.
If you’re media needing an interview, please visit the Media Kit page for more information.
Last Updated: Jan 18, 2008 | Email This Page | Print This Page
Just hope you read this - my future and the future of my book may depend upon your critical advice - you could be famous -I can send the book or the PDF.
Sincerely Bernard Walker
Tap into www.write-away.co.uk for biographic notes and Your Poem etc.
I have had over 157 ECT (Electroshock) treatments over the past four years. I feel like this many treatments along with all the medications were excessive and have ruined my life. The cost and time has been a tremendous stress on my entire family. I feel like my doctors excessive use of this treatment was not in my best interest. I feel I have suffered severely as a result. Mentally I have lost most all of my long term memories and have difficulties with any short term memory. Physically I suffer from severe headaches regularly, my hands shake badly and my legs hurt. I should clarify that I was diagnosed as bi-polar which I still take medications for.
My issue is not so much that I was initially treated with the ECT but that I was given so many treatments while still receiving so many medications. I think if all the records were checked, I was probably given more than 200 of these treatments all together. Everyone I have spoken with, as in other doctors and nurses, have said that they had never heard of anyone getting this many treatments. As I have researched on line I have found that I am a rare exception. Actually I haven’t found anyone who has had as many as I had. I also question why the treatments were not slowed down earlier to see if I was making progress as opposed to the three a week I was receiving for the longest time. Also while researching on line I found that I suffer from most all potential side effects that were listed. I insisted on quitting these treatments last June 2006.
I feel my doctor was careless, reckless and negligent in his excessive use of this ECT treatment on me. I question that his motives may have been monetary and self serving.
oh my god! I’m here for you. Praying for your recovery from your treatment. Nam myoho renge kyo. My head has been hurt badly but has given me determination to be there for others. Much love Jackie jackievans22@myway.com
Debbie,
I just want to let you know you are not alone. I am also a survivor of long-term ECT treatments. I thought that my 70+ ECT treatments over a 2 1/2 year period were extreme. However, that is a small number of treatments when compared to you. I too have suffered severe memory impairments: severe retrograde amnesia (most of the 30+ years of my life memories are gone) and my short-term memory and other cognitive functions have been significantly impaired. I am very dependent on my husband (I do not know what I would do without him) and family for my life history. Our memories are a critical part of who we are and our relationships with others. You are not alone.
Like you, it is not necessarily ECT in general that upsets me so much, but the number of treatments. I agreed to long-term treatments, because I was told my memories should come back 3-6 months after my last ECT treatment. I trusted my psychiatrist and ECT stabilized my moods, particularly my deadly mixed episodes (I also have Bipolar I). I too insisted on quitting my ECT treatments. There is very limited research and support for long-term/maintenance ECT treatments and particularly the long-term effects. When I discovered this I too insisted on quitting my ECT treatments. I have to say that from what you describe, your doctor’s use of ECT does appear “careless, reckless and negligent.” One has to wonder what his rational for this type of long-term intense use of ECT treatments are. I definitely would like to hear this. I continually question do they really believe “the benefits out way the costs?”
I am now coming to my 1 year anniversary since my last treatment and to terms with the fact that my memory improvements have reached a “plateau.” I wish I knew then what I know now about ECT. I am struggling with allot of anger, frustration, and loss. I can imagine that you may also be experiencing similar feelings. Again, you are not alone.
In my own search for information and guidelines in my own Recovery and Rehabilitation from ECT, I have discovered that there are basically none. However, there a some things that might be helpful; such as neuropsychological testing and cognitive rehabilitation. I am currently undergoing neuropsychological. Testing and hopefully this will help establish exactly what deficits are present and some areas that cognitive rehabilitation might be able to help me with. At least, they might be able to help me with developing some additional coping skills and techniques to help better compensate for these cognitive difficulties. I was also informed that insurance usually helps pay for some of the expenses. Have you considered anything like this? I have a lot of hope for you and others like us. You are not alone.
Sharing your story has helped me not feel so alone in the struggle and recovery from ECT. I feel that I and as I imagine other ECT survivors can connect to your pain. I often wish I could wave a magic wand and make this all go away. We may not be able to do this, but we can make things better by providing support and making changes happen. I am here and will do whatever I can to help you and another ECT consumer/survivors.
With Hope,
Danielle
Hi.
My name is Mindy. I suffer from bi-polar and lots of other associated mental illness. I had 12 sessions of ECT in 1999. My life as I knew it was over from that minute.
I recently had a neuropsych evaluation. It showed that my IQ dropped significantly. Also, I have such low executive functioning so I am unable to do most multi-step tasks. My scores are as low as 4%.
The doctor said, “I have good news and bad news. The good news is that no one can see the extent of your problems. The bad news is that no one can see your brain injury.” That is such a true statement!
I’ve been to a neurologist last week and ruled out things like Altzheimer’s or other dimentias. My psychiatrist NOW agrees that the ECT is the basis of the destruction of who I was. Everyone kept saying that my memory loss is not as bad as I felt it was.
I was a crisis psychologist until that date. I made split second decisions and juggled a dozen tasks at a time. Now I can’t even remember the phone number I just heard. My general knowledge fund is very high so my problems couldn’t believed.
I suffered for 7 years without anyone really understanding the depth of my brain damage. As silly it may be, it took until my sister mentioned that it could be the ECT. My doctor finally agreed. He said it seemed impossible to believe. He said that I was able to “fake” it for years.
I am putting together a few articles for my psychiatrist to understand better. If I could also find an article to explain the problems to family members is also needed.
Any suggestions? Thanks for your time.
Mindy (mindyc212@msn.com)
Hello! I wanted to leave my email address in case anyone had any suggestions, feedback, or questions for me. I really value this. Thank you!
Danielle
I am just slack-jawed with non-comprehension to read that Debbie received 157-200 ECT treatments.
My first thought was “is she or her family doing anything about it?”
I am the Director of Litigation for the Citizens Commission on Human Rights International (CCHR). CCHR was established by the Church of Scientology in 1969 to investigate and expose psychiatric violations of human rights. I don’t suppose I need to convince anyone visiting this website that ECT is in and of itself a human rights violation.
I would be willing to assist any victims of ECT to find a competent attorney. Please contact me at swagner@cchr.org
Sincerely,
Steve Wagner
To all of you, Debbie, Jackie, Danielle, Mindy:
I feel extreme sorrow for what each of you have had heaped into your already struggling lives by irresponsible, self-serving practitioners. It is so exquisitely difficult, in the first place, to day in and day out try desperately to manage one’s life in the face of depression, in any of it’s categorized guizes.
To have the additional horror of dealing with the remnants of poorly administered ECT is unconscionable.
I am 60 years old; I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety since I was 8; and after 52 years of earnestly trying so many therapies, modalities, medications, no medications, study and research, it is sometimes very difficult to keep the faith. For me, even though intellectually it makes no sense, the hardest part is the inner shame I feel at not being able to “shake it off.” Within my family unit, even now in 2007, these tpes of problems either 1) really do not exist, excepting selfishness or sin, or 2) must be kept secret.
As a child I sought help from teachers or trusted “elders,” since I grew up in a small rural area where problems of the mind were relegated to the “city folk;” they either were too mundane to merit validity, or the knowledge base was missing.
I have been doing some research about ECT because of extreme discouragement at being my age and still struggling many times just to get through the day. Feeling genuine joy is something that only happens spontaneously with my sons, their wives, and my grandchildren; however, my country girl stock still holds to the belief that all will work out, in time. My reason for sharing all this is to in my very private way thank each of you for your courageous sharing; for your continually finding the spirit somehow to persevere. Your candid, albeit heart-breaking words have probably saved me from a fate worse than the one I continue trying to make some sense of.
And, thank you, also for the website. Your contribution is so important, and so appreciated. It’s wonderful we all have a place to go where people “know what we mean;” not to mention an unbiased forum of sharing real events. Also, thanks for managing the integrity of the website.
Christine
i recieved ect in 02.my memory is really bad & my iq went from 142 to 84 after only 12 trtmnts.have not been able to work or function properly since.nightmare!
I am Bi-polar, have severe depression, OCD and panic attacks. I am contemplating ECT since I am not responding to any medications and have a one year old to look after.
I feel very desperate..and just want the pain to stop. I don’t know what to do. Please help.
anyone tried modafinil? any good? cheers jamie
You people are sick! ECT causes brain damage you morons! And look at you talking about drugs like they are a treat! you should be ashamed of yourselvs! And Michelle, do NOT go through with ECT, it destroys your brain and has a risk of killing you, I know what you feel, I to have OCD, Depression, and panic attacks but I am in controll of it all because I know that you have no reason for being sad, I mean look at how lucky you are! You have freedom, you have people who love you, and you are surrounded by God’s love! You have a life don’t destroy it with a treatment that was created by a evil quack! You are better thain that, you are better thain the depression! Remember things that make you happy, and eventually you will no longer be depressed, I know because it worked for me and zi did not use ECT.
I am bi-polar and was breaking down (being hospitalised) once or twice a year when my son was born - sometimes more. I was so afraid of being forced ECT and still am. I begged a retiring psychiatrist to give me a drug that would actually work and he prescribed Sulpiride and it got me back to normal straight away and I havn’t been hospitalised since 1994 - 14 yrs. I think all the tablets called atypical anti-psycotics work in the same way. I am anti drugs myself but recognise that I was actually so ill that I eventually accepted I was ill and couldn’t manage without a bit of help. Having said this loads of bi-polar people manage on good diet and excercise regimes.I do have less energy than I used to have but am balanced slightly more down than up. But one of the most valuable things to help is having a truly understanding friend to protect and fight your corner if needed.
If you want to get in touch I am at www.myspace.com/dawncarol
Best wishes and I hope to live to see ECT banned world wide and a real cure found for the fear and danger part of Bi-polar and all mental illness.
I am a currently a student and I’m doing a speech on electroshock therapy. My aunt is currently undergoing ECT treatments and they have done wonders for her. Or so she thinks. I have continually reads forums and facts and stories of ECT patients and they all amaze me. I feel for all of you who have to undergo such abrasive treatments against your will. I hope to present the facts to my classmates and start showing people the truth about these aggressive treatments,good or bad.
Sincerely,
TMason
Z-
You … must be insane. I hate to be so evil, but, well, God does not exist, ok? Otherwise my son would be alive.
And if all I had to do to get better was think of those who love me, and feel myself “surrounded” by some bloodthirsty “God’s” love.. well.. that’s a world I don’t want to live in.
Sorry for the negativity.
jksmom119
It breaks my heart to read these stories but comforting to know finally that I’m not alone in this. I have been living in silence with my mothers severe bi-polar for the last 15 years.
But the worst has come.
My mother been left in a mentally retarded, brain damaged state after suffering 52 ECTS over a three year period. The doctor involved told me the reason she had prescribed 52 ECT’s which went on to give my mother brain damage was because ‘they seemed to work at the time’. I now wish to lend my time and support in preventing this happening to anyone else. I have lost my mother. She was a highly academic (dux of her university year), high achieving, active, well read, travelling, cooking, enthusiastic member of society, who read a book a day and went to the theatre once a week. She now can not read at all, focus for long periods of time, travel, follow directions, hail a cab, cook a dinner, or hold an intelligible conversation. She is a shadow of herself, shakes, has face twitches and does not eat. I’m distraught and do not know who to hold accountable. I was told by her doctor that family consent was not needed to administer the 52 ECT’s legally. A fact I find incredible and disturbing. When I brought up her Ethical responsibilitys she changed the subject and told me she couldn’t help me any further. I had no idea this was happening to my mother. The mentally ill are being used as guinea pigs with no care for who they are as a person and their long term health and mental wellbeing.
has anyone had ECT’s w/out cognitive harm? If so how few treatments did you have?
I am fixin go undergo ECT and I am wondering now if I should go through with it. I am so depressed I cannot get out of bed or fix a meal. Will ECT make me worse? A friend of mine had ECT And it helped her tremendously. I am hoping it will work for me. I have no other option left. I have tried all the pills they have. Please let me know what I should do?
I would like to start a support group for survivors of ECT’s. I there anyone out there that is interested? How do I go about it?
Dear Tracy Queen,
I’m so sorry to hear that you are so depressed. I would truly recommend not undergoing ECT’s but that is because of my experience with my mother (see my comment above). Doctors in my mind push patients into ECT’s as a short term solution, and that is definitely all ECT’s are. You will feel happy for a period of time and then return to old though patterns and depression for which the doctors will again prescribe ECT and here in lies the pattern, you will continue with ECT as you will crave that happy feeling. The more you have the less affective they will become and then you will, sadly, end up like my mother, having had upwards of 50 ECT’s and your personality and behavior will be so affected you will no longer resemble yourself.
I hope this information helps. Please, please seek alternative treatments before going down the ECT route. Look at your nutrition closely, seek natural remedies, psychologists, new anti-depressants and medications. Take an active interest in new treatments that perhaps have not been publicised in this country. You can not rely on doctors to come up with the cure for your depression. They DO NOT KNOW. You are your best doctor and always seek a second, third, fourth opinion.
Good Luck Tracy your not alone!!!!
I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder bipolar type. I am a bipolar 1 with rapid cycling.
I also have endured childhood trauma both sexual and mental. They have tried every pill out there but it seems that something either makes other physical problems I have worse or it doesn’t work or eventually loses effectiveness. Long story short my doctor recommends ECT. Will this work for my type of disorder and what is the probability of it causing severe memory loss? I don’t know what to do. I am already disabled as it is and am confused as to whether the benefits outweigh the risks.
Please… all of you…go smoke some weed or cook it up in your food. Please. To me for my personal experience it is one of the best antidepressants I know. With or without the current legal arguments people have been using it for years. With or without anybodies permission.
I am currently taking Prozasyn which helps with the flashbacks. Most of my doctors know I smoke. I do have card. I am not trying to prescribe to anybody(I am not a doctor(just a nurse)).
Now remember some people are not going to be able to tolerate. I’ve met a couple. Please know that what ever higher positive energy is out there I wish for it to go with you as you try to findsomething that does work.
Is there any kind of clinical test that shows the probabilities of who/what type of diagnosis will most benefit from ECT?
do anyone no how or what we can do about outlawring this punishing tretment i think the man that made this legal is sick in the head and must just like to see people suffer not just doring the treatment but for the rest of your life do you no what ect dose to your brian sells anyone that has had ect can you tell me if you have suferd any outher illnesses such as epelepsy ext
My heart goes out to each and every one of you. I have relatives that work in the medical field and have helped adminiser this to patients. I’ve researched ECT and have mixed feelings pertaining toward this. I was informed that in some cases, patients experience memory loss.
I would like to invite each and everyone of you to share your views on my talk show in reference to ECT. many people don’t know about this treatment and believe its a myth.
After 4 month later of ECTS being stopped (I had 29 treatments) I am left with brain injury! All my short term as well as long term memory testing scores me in the low avg. range. I graduated from college with a 4.0 so this is not me. I can’t cook, drive anywhere without a GPS…and even that is confusing. I have swiss chesse for memories. It’s awful. No one has any answers for me. I would have rathere been hospitalized forever until they could’ve found something to help me then do these ECT’s. I would NEVER do them again nor would I EVER recommend then to anyone thinking of doing it.
Hi im a student and I am doing a research project on the banning ECT from hospitals.I feel for all that have had to experience such harsh treatment.I know its just a high school research paper but i really do hope that one day they will come up with a law or somethiong of that sort to ban this treatment or at least reduce the amount of times it is used. I wish you all the best.
my mother was abused by the Ontario psychiatric system in the 1950’s. Is there someone out there who can help me sort this out? Please.
Hey, Eraserheads! (that is an endearment) I’ve received ECT as well 3 years ago. It saved my life and I would recommend it to anyone who is ready to take their life because of debilitating depression. Those of you who said you can’t remember stuff and are angry at getting the procedure… please have a greatful heart because you are still alive and someone can smile at you and you can smile at them! Memories do come back eventually, and besides, I’ve always had a hard time remembering things… do you remember what you did at this exact time a week ago? I bet not. Does that bother you, I bet not. And you didn’t even have ECT at the time.
I have a new word for ECT in this new age… I call it getting erased. It is a little more hip, don’t you think? Anyway, love to all of you wonderful people who’ve gone through so much in life, who’ve been neglected or abused on a long term basis. Please remember that Jesus said to forgive, for that is the heart of recovery. Also please start focusing on those who have given you love during your trials. I even once in awhile thank God when I do get a depressive episode. Doing these things won’t cure you, but it will give you a little more perspective when you are out of the depressive episode, it will help you to reach out to do things that can possibly counteract a future episode or at least lessen it a bit. TTYL