I haven't had the heart to update this page in so long. It hurts too much.

Catharine finally succumbed to breast cancer in April 2004. Her sister was with her in Hawaii when she died.

Jack knew.

I had jumped in the shower one morning and when I got out, he was in the bathroom (he doesn't usually like the humid bathroom during showers). He came to me just crying. Weeping almost. It was a different kind of cry. He needed me to hold him, and I did and he just cried in my arms. I can't really explain it. But my mind immediately flew to Catharine.

I went to the computer and to the breast cancer news group. There it was, the message from her sister that she had died the night before.

Somehow Jack knew. I don't know the answers to life and death, so can only surmise that perhaps Catharine's spirit came to Jack to say goodbye.

Dmitri. He was diagnosed with early stage CRF in spring 2005. He was 16 and had arthritis, but still found energy to wrestle with Jack, whom he loved so very much. He had no symptoms of CRF, but I did put him on a special diet per his doctor's instructions. But on August 27, 2005, I found him asleep on his favorite spot on the couch. He had died in his sleep, peacefully. It was long before I was ready to let him go, but he didn't have to endure those final, agonizing months that go along with end-stage renal failure. He was spared and died happy.

Dmitri loved butterflies and used to always chase them when we lived in the country. He just loved them. The day after he died, I went outside to water my gardens and was greeted by a single monarch butterfly. The butterfly almost touched my nose and flew circles around me. As I walked down the steps to a back garden, that butterfly continued to fly around me, almost as if he was escorting me. It brought me comfort, because I might believe it was a message from Dmitri, that he was okay and frolicking with butterflies. As I got to the back garden, many monarchs came to me and flew around me, in a dance. It was extraordinary and breathtaking. For many days, I couldn't go outside without being greeted by monarchs.

Jack became very depressed, seriously depressed. So depressed that I was on the phone with my vet nearly every day. (God Bless Dr. Ellen, who was so compassionate and patient with me! She's the best!) A couple of weeks later, as I pondered what to do for Jack, I went to PetSmart for food and they were having an adoption day. I had no plans yet to get another cat...it was too soon. I wasn't ready.

But there was little Helen (after Helen Keller), this little white cat about six months old. She was deaf and nobody wanted a deaf cat it seemed. But I wanted a boy cat, and it was too soon. I held her and she was too busy trying to get a feather. So I gave her back and started to walk away.

It was as if Dmitri tapped me on the shoulder and said "Hey! Hey!"

I took her home and began the intro process with Jack. A few days later and she was out running around in the house, romping with Jack. He came out of his depression immediately.

We still miss Dmitri like crazy. But I know he sent Helen, now renamed Jasmine (Jack and Jazz), to us. She needed a home and we sure needed her. She's just a delight, even though she's into everything. She is Jack's clown, constantly entertaining him and climbing on him.