Delores McQueen of Lincoln, Calif., received shock treatment in 1993 at CPC Heritage Oaks Hospital in Sacramento. Her bill: $18,000.

"I wouldn't have minded so much if it had done any good,'' says McQueen, who still suffers from deep depression.

McQueen, who has fought depression much of her life, suffered a relapse after her sister died. She was hospitalized and even slashed her wrists in a suicide attempt.

Her psychiatrist recommended shock therapy. She received more than 20 shocks.

McQueen says shock destroyed large parts of her memory:

She couldn't remember the names of her children.

She got lost driving once-familiar hometown streets.

She forgot how to ride horses, which she'd once trained and showed.

She couldn't remember family hunting and fishing trips.

She didn't know who her old friends were, even when they greeted her at the mall.

She couldn't remember information she'd just read.

"I was assured the problem was short-term, but my memory hasn't come back. I'm convinced now that it's gone for good,'' she says.

Doctors told her that depression was responsible for the memory loss. "But I've had depression for a long time and hadn't had memory problems,'' McQueen says.

After leaving the hospital, McQueen kept getting shock treatment. The treatment was leaving her confused. She also doubted it was helping her depression. But she was reluctant to go against her doctor's recommendation.

With her church group, she prayed for God to tell her whether to keep getting shocks.

In November 1993, the hospital called to postpone a treatment.

"I took that as a sign from God,'' she says. "When they called to reschedule, I said, `No more.'"

By Dennis Cauchon, USA TODAY

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